MAMMON, n. The deity most decide to serve for the simple reason that the tips are better.
On entering, the Lord God stood
While waiting to be greeted.
He cast an eye about the room,
Where naught but one was seated.
At a table made for seven sat
A thing so fat his cheeks were pleated,
While around him in attendance
Stood the wait staff as he bleated,
“Your obeisance will determine
How gratuities are meted.
I’ll have one large of everything.
Now see that I’m not cheated.”
Waiting later still, the All Seeing,
As passed before him plates of gammon,
Roasted hen, filet mignon
Chops of veal, and cuts of salmon,
Fumed, “I am one of substance,
Not some stinting, ragged gamin!
Your irreverence is such that
I should bring upon you famine!”
“You can raise your voice unto the roof,”
Said the host, “curse the sons of Ammon,
Feed us gall and wormwood,
We’ll not serve both God and Mammon.”
Maximilian Edsel, S.J.