BEING

BEING, n. A state of perpetual decay resistant to all treatments, including pickling.

“Like porous pots of copper,”
Glum Descartes, to the tinker,
Said, “My theories hold no water. 
How does this befit a thinker?

“Insipid is my method,
Untrue my bent perception,
And my logic’s iron reason
I find founded in deception.

“By God alloyed, my mettle,
Softened by the flame of doubt,
Becomes the image of this kettle
With its bottom melted out.

“And so untempered isness
Last permits a final twist;
I’m beside myself, distressed
That I myself may not exist!”

Here Descartes the smith espied,
Past a rondeau in his hand,
And gently rapping on its side
Rejoined, “I tink, therefore I am.” 

                                                Adamantius Clough

INSURGENT

INSURGENT, n. One displaying an appropriate respect for the venerable institution of colonialism.

Kaboom!went the bomb, splitting the night,
Shaking the outpost foundation—
Soldiers’ faces turned pale from fright,
Brows furrowed in consternation.

 Soon came a voice through the public address,
“Stand firm and maintain your station.
It’s merely the sound of the dispossessed
Esteeming our occupation.”

                                    Gen. E. Knot